The Final Day

Have you ever ask yourself the meaning of love? Do you know what are the differences between loving or liking someone..? Some might say that loving means to shower lots of kisses and hugs to their loved ones, some just want to get hold of someone, etc..If you ask me personally bout the differences between love and like, I'm sorry that I can't tell you guys too as I'm confused..

Let's put yourself in a situation where there are 3 people liking you, but you choose none..Instead you go for the other that's not even in his list..Don't you think this type of feeling hurt you very much? Well, to tell you guys the truth, I've been experiencing those feelings currently..Like? Love? Or none? I'm soooo confused..Somebody please help me...!! lolz..

I've been liking someone lately but the fact of having him as a boyfriend is a no-no as we're not prepared and well, I don't wanna hurt his feelings too..Hmm..it sounds selfish to say this, but I think I like him more than he likes me..It's just a one sided love..Sigh..so sad...This guy has been helping me all these years and that's the reason I fall for him..One might say that I'm doing this because he almost have everything in life and I'm there for the benefit, but no, that's absolutely ridiculous..I really like him for who he is, but now those feelings are getting deeper...What should I do, guys..? Go for it? But that guy can't decide himself..and I do not want to hurt his feelings..Neither do I want to hurt mine too..

The guy I'd mentioned earlier has a friend who's in the same university with him..He once liked her and she likes him too..Both of them like each other..However, their friend relationship is very unstable, like the Hot and Cold song from Katy Perry..The fact that he likes me and so do I is hurting me deeply-I'm starting to feel that I'm betraying his dear friend who wants to be with him..Jealousy is always there within us; I can't deny that I do feel hurt when he's close to her but I have no rights to say it out as they're friends...

The whole situation had worsened now..The girl that I've been trying so hard to be friends with her is now mad at me and she's depressed, while I'm lost between these two guys...Do you think I should avoid him? Should I let go of him? Will I hurt him if I do that? I've been repeatedly telling myself that he deserves a better girl, because I can't give him anything but sadness, and I can't be his ideal partner nor his good friend..

Honestly speaking, I did try to avoid him but it's always in vain after he messaged me..How should I say this..? Hmm...because I like him very much and he messages me, I become soft in heart and I surrendered.. I can't just let him go like that..I even cried for him..!! >.< Gosh...that hurts...

Usually a girl will be happy when someone she likes return her feelings, but that's not applied for me..I was happy at the beginning, but not now...I have hurt many people's feelings..I can't hurt this person anymore..

Maybe I should try avoiding him again..that's the only way to let him go..to have his freedom..

To the person concern: Dear, I'm sorry..I'm doing this not for myself, but I'm doing it for you and for everybody..Trust me, you'll be happier if you have your freedom without me..Just go and don't look back..You'll find someone you love, and I wish you all the best for your future undertakings..Take care, dear..

(I'll be going to school on Friday, it's up to you to decide..I can't do it for you, you can come if you want, dear..I will always welcome you, dear, as your best friend....)

Sincerely from,
Mandy Ong Siaw Harn