Time for a new challenge

To keep it simple and short, I would just want to pen down that...err...well, I will be no longer writing stuff on blogs..why? well, I am really sooooo lazy to update my wall and yeah, I am busy as well..Busy in studying for my Semester 2. >.<lll sorry everyone, but I need to focus on my studies now..See ya, tata~ ^^

Friends? or....

There are currently 2 guys that have entered my life and gave me something which I really treasure. One is from Japan, (Kyoto) whose looks remind me of a casanova but he has a beautiful and pure heart. The other is a guy who really cares for me and said that he likes me, and yet I am not sure whether to accept his feelings. Rejection is not a healthy thing for people, and I will only reject guys who are really annoying and not understanding. The word "cruel" does not refer to my policy in life, but yet some said I do. To be cruel means that by using someone tothe fullest and yet having no feelings for the opposite partner.

Back to the topic earlier, this Japanese guy (nickname - Suzuya) I met personally shared all his problems (partially, not all) to me and so do I too. I know it's hard to accept LDR, yet we like each other more than a friend relationship. I must say that it's more to the feelings of admiration rather than liking as a bf-gf thing. Yet, I seriously don't know what's happening to me as I trust him with all my life. Should I say that this is the first time..I opened my heart to a guy? As far as I know, I have never been opening my heart to anyone before and also to myself. This proves that my dear Japanese friend is really an understanding guy..You might think that it's really hard to believe that this type of people exist, but he somehow managed to console me when I am under depression. I remember vividly that he told me to love myself more so that I can love others as well. I have never thought about it until he gave me a big hit that he was actually telling the right thing..!! All this while I was wondering why my life is so miserable with so much problems that have been burdening me daily. Since young, I have been telling myself that I will never ever trust anybody (as I had a very bad experience that I'd faced) and even if I do trust, I will put my trust and love more on to other people than myself. It's kind of silly, don't you think? LOL




Next is this guy known as Aaron. I've just met him last 2 days and he treated me well without jumping into conclusions. I dont really know much about him, but he did tell his background to me. Actually, it's more like a fairytale story..I was just his customer while he's the person in charge of choosing my spectacles and sunglasses. So should I say that it's like a supervisor-customer relationship? nah, I dont think so..But we are getting closer day by day. He eventually asked me out for dinner and we ate at Vivo. I was about to pay my meal using my debit card but he stopped me by handing out RM 50 to the cashier. Sigh....sorry, Aaron~ I owed you something now..And yeah!! Why on earth did I blush so much like a tomato when I was eating with him? Gosh!! I knew that I kept on smiling as I cant talk much in front of guys (because I am shy)...But it lasted for almost 3 hours from 7 pm till 10 pm..Even the promoters were curious why my face was really red..It's so embarrassing!! But the real truth is..I am really happy..I just cant show to anyone..Haha www

So...that's all for now...I know it's kind of boring to read these but those above are my real feelings. Never in my life have the time to write a diary on my life as I always keep things to myself..haha xD That's all for now~ Ja mattane!

Friends! ^^)

Hi there..It has been so long (like months) for not updating my blog~ Reason? Simple..I do not have the time to update it even.. [ in other words, I am lazy =.=lll ]

So..you must be wondering what am I doing now? Well, I am pursuing my degree now..Doing a double major course in university, bla bla..Dont ask me where and when..(if you want to, ask me personally) haha xD

Eventually, I found what's the real meaning of happiness and love. I know it's kind of complicating, but, well..my real happiness within me evolved when I step into university. New friends, relationships, ideas and even secrets we share together. There are three beautiful, sweet friends who change my life completely (for the better) and they are Nisha Kaur, Yi Hong and Bee Suan. Thank you, my dear friends!! We always share our jokes together (and always being crazy, especially me, Nisha and Yi Hong). It may sound boring to you all, but I just wanna say that there are some friends who can lead you to the correct path and direction. Previously, I was being naive and did not know the real meaning of love. Indeed, it's not love at all - just lust, the worst hater of all..Thanks to my friends, I can control myself and think of the positive~

And that's the reason why I feel that I really need to thank my university friends. I do not mind spending time to help them in everything (in their studies, personal problems, etc). One can't just say the word "thank you" easily..It's not that simple as what you think. It's something that cannot be trade off, cannot be paid, which is more like a treasure but it's in your heart. There's this guy who let me see the importance of knowledge and the real meaning of life, and not to simply judge a person's character. In other words, he made me learn a lesson of not to simply jump into conclusion and watch my words! Wow, he is indeed a good guy! Thanks...err my friend (dont want to write down his name here) xD

Studies? hmm..not bad..I am doing fine, but not good..Should polish up my subjects. Lectures are really nice and friendly. They are helpful..although some are really moody and expect students to self study, I must say that they are still our lecturer..Especially my accounting lecturer..She may look fierce and terrible, but if you really approach her for help, she will be very friendly to you. That's her personality~ I feel quite sorry for her..she is leaving us and we will have another lecturer for accounting. Others may hate her, but not me. I am sorry to say this, but she is really nice to me although she hit my notebook on the table (by accident). xD Miss Tong, thank you for teaching me accounts~

Last but not least, I want to say...that..I got to go now? haha xDD Well, this is not the end of it..I will continue writing in my blog, but not often .. ^^) Ja, mattane! see ya~

New start, new life, forget the past... ^^)

After bearing the pain for 2 days, I have realized how silly I was to think of all those crazy stuffs in my mind..Hmm..well, to those out there who knew what am I talking about, please keep it silent ya? Hehe...
And to those who do not know me well, it's okay, guys..Chill...Haha..  >.<

It's a long story to begin tho...Anyway, today's story is very short..Nothing much actually...
(Honestly speaking, this is my only place to confess and express out my feelings..So you guys are lucky to know the real me...Hahaha..LOL)

So...what I wanna talk actually..? Ah yes, I received a call from a model agency..I have applied (just recently) without anyone knowing bout it (sounds cool, yea~ hehe) ...Guess what? I will be their model soon...Applemint clothes..can you imagine? lol..I'm so happy...Haha...

I'll be at Petaling Street this Saturday (9th October) for tuition purposes and....modeling.. ^^) My agent will be there too..=.=lll 

Lol...on second thought, I'm nervous...Sigh...Anyway, if you happen to see a girl with jacket and cameras flashing at her, that's me...It will be great if you guys can see me~ 

Wish me luck, everyone~

and....

thank you for everything..

Love Mandy~

Little Wing

I won't compare myself with anyone in this world. If I compare, I am only insulting myself.
 
Nobody will manufacture a lock without a key. Similarly God won't give problems without solutions.
Life laughs at you when you are unhappy. Life smiles at you when you are happy. Life SALUTES you when YOU MAKE OTHERS HAPPY.
'I will always wear a smile although I may be bleeding inside'.....

Every successful person has a painful story. Every painful story has a successful ending.
'Accept the pain and get ready for success!'
Please give me the pain so that I can be successful. I am not afraid.

Nobody can go back and change a bad beginning. But anybody can start now and create a successful ending.

"The greatest glory of living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time you fall."  - Nelson Mandela

If you miss an opportunity, don't fill the eyes with tears. It will hide another better opportunity in front of you.

You are unique.  You can think for yourself. I don't care if everybody's doing it. We're not everybody. 
I am NOT everybody.

If a problem can be solved, no need to worry about it. If a problem cannot be solved, what is the use of worrying?' I won't worry before it is time. I will walk into every battlefield with head held up high, a heart of courage, and steely determination to WIN, with the knowledge that I have prepared my best - so that I shall triumph with pride and die with great DIGNITY and HONOUR. I will never stop fighting to reach the top and BE THE BEST. I am second to none, and nothing walking this Earth shall hinder me from what I envision..'
I WILL BE; I MUST BE!! ALL THE BEST, MANDY..

"Changing the Face" can change nothing.

But "FACING THE CHANGE" can change everything.
 - I will not complain about what I do not get. I will work hard for it, even if it takes my whole life to get it, so God please help me to find peace within me.

 

 

The Final Day

Have you ever ask yourself the meaning of love? Do you know what are the differences between loving or liking someone..? Some might say that loving means to shower lots of kisses and hugs to their loved ones, some just want to get hold of someone, etc..If you ask me personally bout the differences between love and like, I'm sorry that I can't tell you guys too as I'm confused..

Let's put yourself in a situation where there are 3 people liking you, but you choose none..Instead you go for the other that's not even in his list..Don't you think this type of feeling hurt you very much? Well, to tell you guys the truth, I've been experiencing those feelings currently..Like? Love? Or none? I'm soooo confused..Somebody please help me...!! lolz..

I've been liking someone lately but the fact of having him as a boyfriend is a no-no as we're not prepared and well, I don't wanna hurt his feelings too..Hmm..it sounds selfish to say this, but I think I like him more than he likes me..It's just a one sided love..Sigh..so sad...This guy has been helping me all these years and that's the reason I fall for him..One might say that I'm doing this because he almost have everything in life and I'm there for the benefit, but no, that's absolutely ridiculous..I really like him for who he is, but now those feelings are getting deeper...What should I do, guys..? Go for it? But that guy can't decide himself..and I do not want to hurt his feelings..Neither do I want to hurt mine too..

The guy I'd mentioned earlier has a friend who's in the same university with him..He once liked her and she likes him too..Both of them like each other..However, their friend relationship is very unstable, like the Hot and Cold song from Katy Perry..The fact that he likes me and so do I is hurting me deeply-I'm starting to feel that I'm betraying his dear friend who wants to be with him..Jealousy is always there within us; I can't deny that I do feel hurt when he's close to her but I have no rights to say it out as they're friends...

The whole situation had worsened now..The girl that I've been trying so hard to be friends with her is now mad at me and she's depressed, while I'm lost between these two guys...Do you think I should avoid him? Should I let go of him? Will I hurt him if I do that? I've been repeatedly telling myself that he deserves a better girl, because I can't give him anything but sadness, and I can't be his ideal partner nor his good friend..

Honestly speaking, I did try to avoid him but it's always in vain after he messaged me..How should I say this..? Hmm...because I like him very much and he messages me, I become soft in heart and I surrendered.. I can't just let him go like that..I even cried for him..!! >.< Gosh...that hurts...

Usually a girl will be happy when someone she likes return her feelings, but that's not applied for me..I was happy at the beginning, but not now...I have hurt many people's feelings..I can't hurt this person anymore..

Maybe I should try avoiding him again..that's the only way to let him go..to have his freedom..

To the person concern: Dear, I'm sorry..I'm doing this not for myself, but I'm doing it for you and for everybody..Trust me, you'll be happier if you have your freedom without me..Just go and don't look back..You'll find someone you love, and I wish you all the best for your future undertakings..Take care, dear..

(I'll be going to school on Friday, it's up to you to decide..I can't do it for you, you can come if you want, dear..I will always welcome you, dear, as your best friend....)

Sincerely from,
Mandy Ong Siaw Harn

25th September - One Last Moment

Hi, I'm back..!! Well guys, guess what..? You might think that this is my first time blogging, but no, you got it wrong..Haha...Whoa!! I've been blogging since 2 years ago..
Hmm....so welcome back...
Now, to those who're new out there, I'm Siaw Harn, also known as Mandy for short..And this is how I look now..Yeah, from the old look (nerdy with spectacles and long hair) to the short hair and cute almond face.. >.< 

P/S : I may look perfect, but no, I'm not..Anyway, look at me, smiling all the time, and this makes you happy too..You guys should learn from me..hahaha... (honestly speaking, smiling requires energy- need to exercise the mouth..tiring...   =.=lll     )


So, what's the significance on the 25th of September? Well...hmm...guys, you can't believe it, but i had fun for the whole day..I was invited by my friend to his open house for raya and guess what..? Those who are invited felt the same too..lolz..The host gave us good services >.< hahaha.. Not to mention those delicious food noodles, rice, curry chicken...yummy....Too bad, I can't eat that much.. I always eat a lot at home, but not for yesterday...Sob, sob...Wanna know the reason? It's kind of lame tho...My ribbon belt tied around my waist was just too tight.. =.=llll I felt like I was wearing a corset back in the 1800s ....Sorry, Hazmi..I'll not do that again..Haha... (For your info guys, Hazmi is my one and only true friend that I can trust..Though I don't know whether I make a fool of myself by believing him, but I can say that you'll definitely not regret make friends with him..Irreplaceable..Oh ya, he's the host...Hahaha)

The twins, Kent and Sean, are my friends since lower secondary..Well, Kent is getting cooler now, while his twin is really different..? Lolz, no offence guys, but what I meant by different is that he's unique in his own way..Lam and Gan are my friends too, they're like brothers to me..I made new friends with Farahin and Sandra..Farahin is a pretty gal, while Sandra is really elegant..Hazmi, if you're reading this, just remember what I'd said earlier..Good luck, dude..

26th September will be Hazmi's 19th birthday and I gave him a Parker pen which is costly and a watch..Hope you like it, dude..Haha...

Last but not least, to all my dear friends out there who was there for the open house, I wanna thank you all for grouping together again after one and a half years..I can't deny that I'm really happy to see you guys enjoying and playing UNO cards, while I'm glued to the idiot box..Hahaha... XD
(Please note that this might be the last time I'll be seeing you guys again,as I'm busy preparing my finals -STPM and I've things to do after the finals.. So please do keep in touch..Take care, my dear friends..)

Gambatte!!
Sincerely from Mandy~