Friends? or....

There are currently 2 guys that have entered my life and gave me something which I really treasure. One is from Japan, (Kyoto) whose looks remind me of a casanova but he has a beautiful and pure heart. The other is a guy who really cares for me and said that he likes me, and yet I am not sure whether to accept his feelings. Rejection is not a healthy thing for people, and I will only reject guys who are really annoying and not understanding. The word "cruel" does not refer to my policy in life, but yet some said I do. To be cruel means that by using someone tothe fullest and yet having no feelings for the opposite partner.

Back to the topic earlier, this Japanese guy (nickname - Suzuya) I met personally shared all his problems (partially, not all) to me and so do I too. I know it's hard to accept LDR, yet we like each other more than a friend relationship. I must say that it's more to the feelings of admiration rather than liking as a bf-gf thing. Yet, I seriously don't know what's happening to me as I trust him with all my life. Should I say that this is the first time..I opened my heart to a guy? As far as I know, I have never been opening my heart to anyone before and also to myself. This proves that my dear Japanese friend is really an understanding guy..You might think that it's really hard to believe that this type of people exist, but he somehow managed to console me when I am under depression. I remember vividly that he told me to love myself more so that I can love others as well. I have never thought about it until he gave me a big hit that he was actually telling the right thing..!! All this while I was wondering why my life is so miserable with so much problems that have been burdening me daily. Since young, I have been telling myself that I will never ever trust anybody (as I had a very bad experience that I'd faced) and even if I do trust, I will put my trust and love more on to other people than myself. It's kind of silly, don't you think? LOL




Next is this guy known as Aaron. I've just met him last 2 days and he treated me well without jumping into conclusions. I dont really know much about him, but he did tell his background to me. Actually, it's more like a fairytale story..I was just his customer while he's the person in charge of choosing my spectacles and sunglasses. So should I say that it's like a supervisor-customer relationship? nah, I dont think so..But we are getting closer day by day. He eventually asked me out for dinner and we ate at Vivo. I was about to pay my meal using my debit card but he stopped me by handing out RM 50 to the cashier. Sigh....sorry, Aaron~ I owed you something now..And yeah!! Why on earth did I blush so much like a tomato when I was eating with him? Gosh!! I knew that I kept on smiling as I cant talk much in front of guys (because I am shy)...But it lasted for almost 3 hours from 7 pm till 10 pm..Even the promoters were curious why my face was really red..It's so embarrassing!! But the real truth is..I am really happy..I just cant show to anyone..Haha www

So...that's all for now...I know it's kind of boring to read these but those above are my real feelings. Never in my life have the time to write a diary on my life as I always keep things to myself..haha xD That's all for now~ Ja mattane!